Kaleidoscope 1/40 : Advice is Overrated (Or is it?)

Let's kick off the Kaleidoscope series with a prelude — a question to frame all other questions: Is this useful? Simple question, but the answer is not always obvious or straightforward. At least not to me. So, let's talk about it.

Kaleidoscope 1/40 : Advice is Overrated (Or is it?)
One of the many ways DALL-E imagines a 'Kaleidoscope of Questions'

Big news: I’m approaching the big 4-0 and I'm celebrating with a 40-day pop-up newsletter about one of my favorite topics — how to ask better questions.

Questions that encourage us to consider new perspectives, challenge norms, and share a few laughs.

Spoiler alert: there will be a few fun surprises popping up along the way too.

I want to kick off the series with a prelude — a kind of question to frame all other questions, so let's get a little meta.

Is this useful?

Simple, but not easy — you know that's my favorite. So, let's talk about it.

My parents have been married for more than 40 years and remain incredibly happy and in love. They are seriously an inspiration.

Whenever my parents go to a wedding, they always share the same gem of wisdom: "Never go to bed angry."

Naturally, I took this advice as absolute truth and have many memories of miserable nights to prove it. But the reality is that, for me, most of those sleep deprived debates did more harm than good, to me and to my relationships.

I learned that for me, the best course of action is to go to bed — yes, even angry. A good night’s sleep has an uncanny way of bringing sanity, perspective, and a better version of myself in the morning.

So, was their advice useful?

Hell no.

But that’s not actually true. It's not that it was bad advice, it's that I asked the wrong question.

How can I make this useful to me?


When I look at the principles behind my parents' advice, what I see is a commitment to not letting anger fester, to keeping the lines of communication open, and to not allowing resentment to become a default state.

That is incredibly useful advice — advice that I hold tightly — although I admit, it's not nearly as pithy.

Today's question underscores a broader truth: the value of advice often lies not in its immediate application, but in our own interpretation and adaptation of the underlying principles.

Which is why, in this popup, I won’t be dishing out any advice. None. Go to bed angry, or don't — that's up to you.

Rather, we'll explore questions and principles that we can apply to them. And I’ll offer up stories — some playful, others profound — designed to help us increase our sense of agency and possibility.

Advice is overrated. But figuring out how it can be useful? Now that is priceless.

To ever-expanding our horizons,
Rebecca