Kaleidoscope 8/40: What does my response say about me?

Kaleidoscope 8/40: What does my response say about me?
Neither my husband nor DALL-E seem to understand the difference between picked up and clean... :)

Hey y'all,

I received a lot of feedback about my thoughts on luck. As I expected.

Luck is one of those words that means a lot of things to a lot of people. (A core challenge in the but what does it even mean?!? question).

Even to me, luck has many meanings: Serendipity. Opportunity. Dice rolls. Good fortune. Uncertainty.

The thing that I find fascinating is that some people expanded on their sense of luck, while others contracted it.

I can't get over how lucky I was to be born in American in the most peaceful, prosperous time in human history.
you are not lucky youre privileged and its disgusting to watch UNSUBSCRIBE

Amen, both are true — although I maintain that I am highly privileged, intensely 'zero-influence' lucky AND create a lot of luck for myself.

But, I can't help but think about the mindset behind the people who wrote these comments...

What does my response say about me?


This is ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENTARY on anything that anyone has written me during this series. I think you're all brilliant and please, continue to do it — even if its just an insult and UNSUBSCRIBE. :)

If you write publicly long enough, you come to see that people's responses are all over the place and, honestly, often have very little to do with what you write or you as a human.

Once you can disengage with it being about you, things get really interesting. Because its easier to see someone else's patterns than you're own.

But, we're not here to dissect other people. I'm here to dissect myself. And, I hope you're here for yourself.

Because, guess what, that's really all we have control over. And often it doesn't even feel like we have control over ourselves. In many ways, we don't.

If my experience writing (and reading responses) has taught me anything its that those two comments could have been made by the same person — on different days.

One of my favorite personal barometers is how I react to my husband's habit of "cleaning the kitchen" which actually means picking up... and not cleaning at all.

Some days, I'll be like — Amazing! The kitchen is all picked up! Thank you!

Other days, I'm like — This is not clean. You can't say you cleaned the kitchen without CLEANING the kitchen!

Same action, different response. Why?

This is where the question gets interesting — why did I respond with gratitude yesterday and frustration today?

Am I tired? Hungry? Am I frustrated about something else? Am I feeling overwhelmed and in need of more support today specifically?

Or, if I'm responding with frustration again and again — if this is a clear pattern for me — why am I feeling that way? What might change that?

And, further, is this response serving me? Is it changing anything? Is it making my life better somehow?

There are no right or wrong answers here.

I'm not pollyannish on everything. There is plenty of space for frustration and calling things out. There are things worth fighting for. Things worth pushing back on.

I'm a skilled devils advocate and skeptic. Sometimes, I push back or fight just for fun. (I often have to remind myself that debate is not fun to everyone...)

But that's why I try to make a habit of pull back the curtain on myself. To pause and look at the root of the reaction.

What is this reaction saying about me, right now?

I find that often, the reaction has less to do with the event than
me-in-the-moment thinks it does.

Until tomorrow,
Rebecca